Di’s Xmas in July 2016: Day 9

 

XmasinJulyTestintro by Di…

When my first GOOD therapist took a little time to let me know he had two years of therapy before he felt ready to go into practice, I felt confident to speak up because I knew he had walked in my shoes and COULD know how desperate I felt.

Nancy is that kind of therapist, she’s been there, and she’s done her inner work, so her clients receive highly effective therapy from a loving, compassionate heart who truly relates to what they feel.

I’m so proud and humbled to share her offering to you, our loving community of non-judgmental, caring beings who know we are  One.  I offer Nancy a safe place to be seen, heard and loved by that One Love seeing her through our eyes, hearing her with our ears, and feeling compassion for her with each caring heart.

We may be small but we have a Magnificence as your audience, Nancy.
We are ready to be touched by your story, realizing that in your profession, you probably have few, if any, humans who see your needs without judgment and reach out a hand to you, without expecting a healing touch in return.

This is your page, Nancy.  We are so happy to be here with you!

Nancy’s offering:
My Personal Journey of Grief and Loss 

“We come into the world as innocent beings with hearts filled with joy and wonder.   I began to feel a disconnect very early in my childhood, before the age of 1. My wonder and joy began to diminish which restricted me from freedom to express. It’s crazy to feel as a little being a restriction to emerge into the world feeling safe and protected.   It was fear that I felt but under the fear was grief that I was not bonding with my father and my mother did not feel the freedom to express herself.

I found a way to overcome some of the grief which was to bond with my brother. I also had a nanny which helped me feel love and unconditional positive regard. I think a power from above knew to help me feel secure and safe. Those relationships helped me develop a sense of belonging.

An entire shaping of my development was to overcome the pain and grief
I felt from my father. My life has had many hardships but also numerous highlights. When I become overwhelmed, I relive that grief of the sad little girl that feels lost and helpless. I do have a skill set of pulling myself out of the darkness of grief and I spend less time in grief.

My journey has led me to self empowerment.   I have leaned and continue to learn that I have everything I need to manifest goodness, wholeness, and strength. When I fall down I brush myself off quicker but at times it is hard because I manage my life without a husband, partner, and I am a single parent.

I don’t have family support, those relationships are broken. I do have support from a family of choice which inspires me to make healthy choices about my life. I do believe in a power greater than myself and I live by a spiritual foundation.

When I feel best is when I believe love conquers all. My heart is open and I dance through life feeling grateful and blessed.

We are not alone, our stories are what shaped us. I can help others because I have been there and I practice recovery on a daily basis.

You can do it just like I have.”                                     

  ……………………………………………………………..~Nancy Bortz

musings…

Nancy’s words keep ringing: “We come into the world as
innocent beings with hearts filled with joy and wonder.”
This song is about you, Nancy, and each of us.

wrapping up by Di …

I wonder if Nancy felt like she was living under the same roof with her father, but it was like he was not present to her. As if she didn’t exist.

That could result in confusion about identity. . .a feeling of  “floating, untethered.”  A primal tentative feeling for a child to bring into adulthood.”

Processing “identity grief”  helped her “land” firmly on the solid ground of her own Joy of Being… the delight of knowing “the Gift she is!”

I think if I had grief again, I’d go to Nancy for therapy. Because all grief includes identity confusion. She’d be able to help me find myself!

 

invitation to chime in…

Do you have a family member you feel no bond with?
What’s that like for you?
Does it seem like we are helping each other in the pages of this event?

Please let us know your thoughts in the comment area below.

(Your comments will be included in the Ebook Keepsake you will receive after the 12 days are done.) 😜 “wink”

links to previous pages
(in case you missed it):

DAY 1 – Magenta: Waiting in Darkness
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-1/

DAY 2 – JFP: Living after Heart surgery and 5 strokes
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-2/

DAY 3 – JANE: Visiting Family – Layers of Love and Grief
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-3/

DAY 4 – JFS: Loss of Someone to Care For
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-4/

DAY 5 – SANDY: Allowing my Beloved Partner’s Memory to Live on
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-5/

DAY 6  – PETE:  Deep pain of losing my Beloved Daughter
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-6/

DAY 7 – VIVIENNE: From the Dark to Light, Damage to Wholeness
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-7/

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Comments

Di’s Xmas in July 2016: Day 9 — 4 Comments

  1. Oh,dear Nancy, I am so amazed and confused by what memories and visions, your ‘share’ of grief brought me. I was an Early Childhood Development teacher, and soon took even more classes and certification to be an ECD therapist. I used every skill learned and intuited what I did with severely autistic,psychotic, schizophrenic,sexually abused….special needs with the preschool age of development. This was all before my inner work. However, I was, and still am, hypervigilent regarding not acting out my issues on any child. Perhaps, I am grieving that sense of purpose, and advocacy for those whose voices(if they had them)may not be heard! I was very good, at this; as I know you have been. I frequently was called on the line, for acting in a way that was therapuetic and working, for the child’s developmental level. Oh no, I was told to teach non-verbal, non-toilet trained children to read and do preschool age math! I guess that I am venting/grieving such insane and outdated forms of reaching young ones; because of funding and political protocol. This is 30+ years behind me. A brilliant Ph.d, Dr. Ann Jernberg/theraplay; helped me to see life, in even the eyes of children who were labeled as not being present neurologically. Also, to do the therapy with the hope of placing an experience of love or connection–even for a moment. They can always, take it off the shelf of their mind/soul and look at it again. Blessings and hugs for everything you have and will be and experience.

  2. Vivienne, How kind of you to send me your message of hope and connection. It does help to know we are not alone and how our stories all seem so familiar to one another. Thank you Vivienne.

  3. We are definitely helping each other. Oh my. The threads of feeling and sameness coming through every page. The drawing together like with like because we can all see and hear each other.
    Wow Nancy, such an inspiration to know about overcoming and learning. Such a blessing to the world.
    Thank you.

    • I’m so glad you are feeling that sense of connection, that we are helping each other, like with like, because we can all see and hear each other. If we are a microcosm of the macrocosm, then the whole world is getting a boost toward being a new culture of harmony, love and working together for the good of all. Who knew what a Gift this Xmas in July would receive from such a loving group?

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