Di’s Xmas in July 2016: Day 8

XmasinJulyTest

intro by Di…

Everyone I’ve met in the past 7 years seems meant to be.  Barclay
knew it right away, as I did, that we are intended from before time to
be “in sync” with each other in the work of shifting the way we
see things.

I’m honored to have her contribution here, given with love at one of
the busiest times she’s had lately. An author at the height of her work,
in transit from one state to another.

I just had to have her message here for all of us. From scientific
therapist mindset to universal spirituality,  Barclay has experienced
some vital years of deepening.  I was so excited when she shared
about allowing the non-dominant hand to write “the answer,” that I
picked up the practice myself.  I consistently receive answers I would
never have conceived.  Open to the Energy of one who has a way
to instant Guidance!

Shift your pen…Shift your Consciousness
…………………………~Barclay Braden

“My life was changed by a grief tool I encountered nearly twenty-five
years ago. In a weekly gathering of our study group for A Course In
Miracles, we had a visitor. She had come to ask what we thought about written conversations she’d been having with her mother…who had died some months before.

A nun had told her about a simple method…asking a question with your regular, dominant hand, and answering with your nondominant hand. In writing to her mother, in this format, the messages she received felt true to her, but our guest was uncertain about their validity. She knew we were a broad minded group, open to metaphysical realities, and she wondered
what we might make of her experience. We encouraged her to continue
the experiment. If it felt true, and helped her feel closer to her mother, it seemed to us there was intrinsic value in such inquiry.

I went home that evening to try out the tool for myself. What happened was truly astounding to me. (If you’re curious, you can read more about this discovery on my website barclaybraden.com or at about.me/barclaybraden, where you can leave me a message.)

Somewhat ironically, I did not end up using the tool to write to departed loved ones. Instead I began an invaluable dialogue with a voice who identified herself as Faith. My exchanges with her have fruitfully continued now for nearly a quarter century. If you dare to try this intriguing inquiry tool, I would love to hear from you! (BarclayBraden@gmail.com)

I asked her, just now, what was the most important message I could share with you about grief. Her response came immediately, in a single word: ALLOWING.”

With love and wishes, Barclay Braden

musings…

Lesson 21: I am determined to see things differently.

 

wrapping up by Di …

Barclay’s Xmas in July Gift is her years of confirming
the need to shift our way of seeing things, and how
natural it is for us.

Changing neurocircuitry by changing hands helps us get
wider vision with more possibilities.

A Course in Miracles guides us to ALLOW the Great Peace
that is our Highest Self to do the seeing things differently,
even when we are entrenched in miserable squabbles,
and fears that fade in its Brightness.

We don’t even have to know how to see differently,
just go within and recognize our Higher Self is seeing
in ways that bring peace, not suffering.

I’ve used both, and am especially blown away at how
my non-dominant hand always gives short and sweet
answers that I’d never have come up with: creativity
on the inside spills over as creative solutions on the
outside. In fact, it just worked again for me today… I
got angry with someone and lost my peace for awhile,
until I listened to Lesson 21, the above video, and sat
down with my journal, asking the question with my
right, and being amazed at the simple answer that
was pure Love writing with my left hand.

invitation to chime in…
Have you had the non-dominant hand writing
experience?  Do tell!
How about A Course in Miracles? What did you
think of Lesson 21?
Do you think seeing things differently
can help with our identity confusion that is part of grief?
 .

links to previous pages
(in case you missed it):

DAY 1 – Magenta: Waiting in Darkness
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-1/

DAY 2 – JFP: Living after Heart surgery and 5 strokes
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-2/

DAY 3 – JANE: Visiting Family – Layers of Love and Grief
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-3/

DAY 4 – JFS: Loss of Someone to Care For
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-4/

DAY 5 – SANDY: Allowing my Beloved Partner’s Memory to Live on
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-5/

DAY 6  – PETE:  Deep pain of losing my Beloved Daughter
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-6/

DAY 7 – VIVIENNE: From the Dark to Light, Damage to Wholeness
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-7/

 

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Di’s Xmas in July 2016: Day 7

XmasinJulyTestintro by Di…

What a Christmas Gift we have here in the form of Vivienne’s deeply personal, authentic writing, offered with Giant Courage!

How important is it to find out that you have grief that is buried,
and to work through it?
Vivienne knows and tells us:
it can be a matter of life and death.

The messages we’ve been seeing on these pages are such blessings
from broken hearts who know not to diminish such pain. You are safe
here, Vivi, to be seen and heard by your fellow travelers who will
surround you with love and healing, too.

With incredible openness, you dare to hold your terrified heart up to
us to be seen for what it has endured and survived.

With a grateful heart, I am proud to entrust your humble, honest offering
to the sensitivity of our caring, insightful community who, I’m sure, will
caress it as a treasure better than the gold of the Magi.

 

Vivienne’s Gift of Christmas in July

“You know. I know you know. That deep darkness where you hear nothing and see nothing. That hole you want to stay in and just die, disappear into the nothingness. Nobody will miss you anyway. Nobody loves you really.
Oh, they say the words but do they really????

‘But how can you leave me?’ my mother cried.  I’m sure you have heard that before? ‘What about me, your husband, your mother, your family, etc. etc. etc?’  Unless you have been here in the darkness you will never get it.  Never.

I was born into a broken family, unexpected and definitely unwanted.  In the way.  I felt it in the womb already. Abused emotionally, physically and mentally by my mother and sexually by my father. How then am I supposed to be “NORMAL”??? How do I fit in and excel and flourish and thrive when my own mother does not love me? I thought I was adopted. I said how can anybody else love me if my own mother does not love me? I had to be the mother and be sure never to incite her unnecessarily. ? I learnt young to fit in and behave and conform. It was the only way I could pretend I belonged. I grew up in friends’ houses with their families, always on the outside looking in but so desperately wanting to be a part of a family. Belong in a family.

My mother competed with me. Compared weight and sizes and wanted to be me and have my life and my boyfriends. I never heard:  “I am so proud of you Vivienne, I love you Vivienne, You are beautiful Vivienne.”

I was never engulfed in a hug to feel comforted and loved. I longed for that my whole life and looked for it in all the wrong places with all the wrong men.

Promiscuous, trading on my blonde hair and figure and face and sexuality. Thinking that sex equals love but it always left me so empty and so alone.

I have experienced much grief in my life. More than one person should ever have to endure.

I always felt odd. I never quite fitted in. Conversations that family, friends and people had sounded inane and mundane to me. I was younger than 6 but I felt so old.

I learnt as time passed. I had to learn. I learnt to fit in, to adapt and conform. I became a chameleon ever changing to the environment around me.

There was a TV series called ‘The Pretender.’  He could be anyone or anything. I felt like that for most of my life. I have an amazing memory.  I read about things or watch a program and I recall details I need about medicine or car racing or animals or teaching. I use that to adapt and fit in.

I have my whole life had this amazing fantasy world and imagination. I never get bored. I regularly lose myself in the pages of a book. I escape this cruel unfair ugly world.

Tomorrow when the sun rises I must put on my mask and face the world.
My mother should not have had children. My brother she held over the balcony of our flat on the 16th floor. She held him by his ankles and told him, ‘If you don’t stop being naughty I will let you go.’

She beat us with a wooden coathanger.  I got hit more because I refused to cry. Red, blue and purple welts raised all over my body but I would not cry.
My stepdad wanted to buy me my own horse. My whole life I wanted my own horse and my own child. I never got either.

I was about 9 when my Dad said he would buy me a horse. My mother woke me up at around 3am, digging her finger in my shoulder so that she left bruises. She told me I will never get a horse. She needed things and she was going on holiday. I never got my horse.

I remember one day when my real Dad fetched me to visit
and I was in the bath and he came in.

I blocked the rest out.

When I was 10/11 he fetched me every 2nd Saturday, I used to go watch soccer with him. He dropped me off and kissed me like I was his girlfriend.

I never told anyone.  Who could I tell?   Who would believe me?

Men have consistently liked me, chased me, all the time I had such a low self esteem but the masks and the Pretender played the game of life well.

3 marriages. Affairs. All I have ever wanted is to come first in someone’s life. Really truly come first!!!! I imagine that it must be a wonderful feeling, a beautiful experience.

2 divorces.

Attempted suicide.
Landed in hospital where the Dr told my ex-husband that
what I took would have been fatal.
I was not playing.

2 miscarriages. My whole life I wanted my own child. I wanted to feel that unconditional love that a mother has for her child. Nobody has been able to explain that feeling to me. It’s impossible to verbalise, it has to be felt.

This all caused me to be and play the victim for so long it was actually tiresome. Tiresome for me and others. I was in the dark, buried underneath all of my shit but I had this itch, this yearning to see the light and to be in the light. How beautiful and restorative it is to be in the light.

It’s taken so long, many years to finally come out into the light.

I was so bereft, so lost for so long, feeling unloved and unwanted.

I survived all that but last year I fell into that dark pit again and googled
the best way to take an overdose to ensure success. Amazingly Google,
as usual, is very informative and factual.

I can only thank God and the wonderful people He put in my life. I “found” Diane Lemon on FB and her words and her site resonated so strongly with me that I was impelled to ask her to join. Her question about my loss and grief and then her reply to what I wrote opened the door and got me started on the final, true and real path of healing.

If we took videos of my counseling with her in December last year and then now, you would think it’s 2 different people. I’ve been for counseling before and got help but I never understood that my grief had been buried and I so desperately needed to work through my grief.

At one stage we didn’t speak for 7 weeks after I shared some scary stuff. Thunderstorms and lightning storms so hectic that we had no connectivity. When we spoke again we realised that I was so scared of sharing anymore that I had actually manifested them so as to not have to speak. What an enormous breakthrough. What a revelation.

I’m so grateful for being saved. I’m grateful for all my trials. This has all been part of my walk and learnings that I can help others. What a privilege that is to help. To let God’s light shine through me and light the way for someone else.

To have found Joy Support and Di is the biggest miracle for me that I have experienced in my life so far.

I truly, honestly believe that I would not be alive today to share without the kindness and support and guidance and unconditional love.

I have always been ridiculed for my sensitivity, my entire life I have been told, ‘oh you are too sensitive, you are so sensitive.’  Well, I am an EMPATH,  I am supposed to be sensitive. It has been liberating for me to embrace that and to be able to say FUCK YOU, I am not too sensitive.

I believe that I have found my Tribe. This growing group of enlightened beings, starting to live our purpose and show love and implement change.

Sweeping your pain and your grief under the carpet and putting on a brave face and plastering a big smile on your face does not help you. It does not serve you.

It comes back to bite you in the ass. Big time.

My saving grace is truly Di Lemon. My angel on earth and grief counselor par excellence.

 

Thank you Thank you Thank you for my life and my future.

So happy to have you in it.

Thank you GOD!!!!
……………………………………………………………………………..~ Vivienne

musings. . .

Pink tells what “Beam Me Up” means in the 30 second video below.  She also had 2 miscarriages.

 

wrapping up by Di …

Dear, Brave Vivienne! 

I know you wanted to tell all this for a long time.

Thank you for “Daring Greatly.”   May you feel the blessing of our love.

You have done some universal good today.  Let’s sum it up.

Two threads are interlacing here:

1. The raw outcry of desperate childhood grief,
trapped, unheard, ignored and glossed over.

2. Serious current grief heightened by the continued
screaming and old protective behavior patterns.

My gratitude to you, Vivienne, for underscoring how the abused child’s urgency to please can continue as a lifelong pattern of inauthentic protective behavior that becomes like a sealed coffin in which one feels buried alive.
Many have experienced the resulting bleakness of feeling no purpose in life and no chance of escape from the pain.

How grateful I am that you survived your suicide efforts and reached out
beyond the iron grip of that trap.

I’m struck with your rising from the terrifying quicksand of childhood grief to be able to start processing your adult grief:

“I lost my babies through miscarriage twice but I was further than 12 weeks both times. I still think of them and how old they would be now.
There are no words to say to a parent who has lost a child.

Could it be that your two miscarried babies are “beaming you up”  into
the vision of truth that sets free the Infinite Love you are here to birth?

 

invitation to chime in…

What about you, dear Fellow Travelers?  Have you lived a lifetime with underlying unheard pain?  Is it glossed over?

How is your raw, human outcry a self-imposed coffin? 

Can you imagine your deep-rooted pain becoming the seed broken open to sprout your newly opening and unfolding Joy of Being?  

Who is “beaming you up?”

Please let us know your thoughts in the comment area below.

(Your comments will be included in the Ebook Keepsake you will receive after the 12 days are done.) 😜 “wink”

 

links to previous pages
(in case you missed it). . .

DAY 1 – Magenta: Waiting in Darkness
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-1/

DAY 2 – JFP: Living after Heart surgery and 5 strokes
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-2/

DAY 3 – JANE: Visiting Family – Layers of Love and Grief
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-3/

DAY 4 – JFS: Loss of Someone to Care For
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-4/

DAY 5 – SANDY: Allowing my Beloved Partner’s Memory to Live on
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-5/

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Di’s Xmas in July 2016: Day 6

XmasinJulyTest

intro by Di…

Pete found it deeply painful to write this account about the death of his daughter, Maryann.  It’s the first time he has told this deep hurt he has carried silently in his heart.

I know Pete well, such a loving man, a life devoted to responding to the needs of others, a soul full of compassion.

May our loving community here reach out arms of healing to you, Pete!
We are so thankful you stepped into your courage to share your deep hurt
so eloquently.

My Beloved Maryann.  The Silence is deafening!

Maryann
“Maryann was the elder of 3 children. Because of this, she held a special place in my heart. That does not mean that I loved her more than my other 2 children, I could not love anyone more than I love each of my kids.

Shirley, my present wife, and I were sitting at home watching television in Florida. The phone rang and it was my son, calling from New York, telling me that they rushed Maryann to the hospital. Knowing that she was an asthmatic, I did not immediately think it was that serious. However, when Shirley called the ER and talked to a friend that she knew when she was riding the ambulance. They were “Bagging” Maryann, she was not breathing and they were essentially breathing for her. Things were starting to look more serious than I thought.

The next morning, I had to find out who her doctor was and I called him. I asked him what her condition was. Instead of answering my question, he asked where I was calling from. When I told him I was in Florida, he stated that I should get there as soon as I could. I got myself booked on the first flight out of Orlando in the morning.

I have flown many times into La Guardia Airport with little or no problems. This time was different however. Waiting by the carousel to get my bag, I waited and waited and my bag never showed. What to do? I was tempted to just leave and forget about it; but I went to the airline’s desk and told them my bag was missing and my daughter was dying and they could send it to me when and if they found it. They were very nice and asked me to hang around for just a few minutes. After just a short while it was found and my best buddy, Alfred, and I were on our way to see my daughter. I have to say that Alfred was the kind of buddy everyone should have. He met me at the airport and stayed with me for the entire ordeal. THANK YOU ALFRED.

Arriving at Hudson Valley Hospital Center, I went directly to Maryann’s room in ICU. There she was with tubes coming out of every opening in her body and the resuscitator was running by her side. The heart monitor was going beep, beep, beep… She was still my beautiful daughter but somehow I knew that there was a great part of her missing. I held her hand and it was still warm and full of life. I felt maybe a miracle would occur and she would sit up and say “Hello Daddy”. I prayed that she would.

I met with her doctor. He had nothing good to tell me. He told me however that I should go home and be back here early in the morning. He said that there was a big decision to be made. I knew what he meant and I was absolutely devastated. For the first time that I could remember, my eyes filled with tears and I began to cry. These were the first of many tears I would shed during this awful time.

I was in a daze. Alfred and I left the hospital. All I can remember about that night was thinking that tomorrow I would have to tell the doctors to remove the life support from my Maryann and she was going to die. I said to Alfred let’s get a bottle of scotch. He told me that there was no way I would be drinking tonight. AGAIN THANK YOU ALFRED.

After a long and anguishing night, Alfred picked me up and we went to the hospital. I went to see my daughter. She was the same as I left here last night. No miracles had occurred and the heart monitor was going beep, beep, beep… Her hand was still very warm. I said a rosary by her side. The nurse came in and told me that I was to meet the doctor shortly.

Eventually my ex-wife, Aileen, Maryann’s husband, Michael, and my ex-mother in law appeared. We were taken into a private room and we discussed harvesting organs from my daughter. No earthly words can express how painful this ordeal was. I will not even try. The outcome of the meeting was that everything was subject to donation with the exception of her eyes. Michael for some reason would not agree to this.

I went back to see Maryann one last time. The heart monitor was silent.

It now fell on me to make all the arrangements for the funeral. I contacted a funeral director that I knew from my days living in New York and made arrangements for him to come and get the body. I met him in the funeral home and picked out a casket and made the plans for the wake that we were going to have. Just 1 night, that is all I could take. There was a myriad of other details that had to be worked out. I was kept very busy during this time and in reality it was a blessing.

My wife and my other daughter arrived after driving up from Florida. I was so great to see them. I felt like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders. I would now have some support through this ordeal.

The day of the wake had arrived. Looking at my gorgeous daughter lying in the coffin was heart stopping. There she was, still as beautiful as ever but I knew that it was just a small part of what she once was. I must have stood there and looked at her for quite a while. I prayed that she was with the Lord and very happy. I knew she was. It was surprising to see the number of people that came to the wake. Maryann in her last job was working at the school with young children and she must have touched a lot of people.

Every time I went to the coffin to look at her, my grief would be so much that I actually could feel a pain in my chest. Now I know the meaning of a broken heart.

The funeral was anticlimactic. The most painful part was before we went to the church and before the final closing of the coffin. I stood there looking at her for the last time. I took her in my arms and gave her a big goodbye kiss. The coffin was closed and it was over.”

“THE HEART MONITOR WAS SILENT”

 

musings…

wrapping up by Di …

There is One Love, and we are that Love..The heart of this loving
community is not silent, Pete.   Thank you for opening your broken
heart to share with us the devastating pain you have held for years.
Perhaps that is the only way you have been able to “hold” your
precious Maryann. We hold you now, ever so gently, along with all
parents who have had this kind of broken heart.

Let our One Love “raise you up on eagles’ wings,
bear you on the breath of dawn,
make you to shine like the sun,
and hold you in the Palm of Love’s Hand.”

 

invitation to chime in…

I know at least 5 parents who have lost a child.  Some of you
may be reading this. Can we gather more names in this space?

Is there a way we can just “sit with you,”
heart to heart, in a sacred communion of souls, surrounding
you with love and sacred partnership as long as you must grieve?
If anyone can speak at all, please share your heart in the comments
below.  If you cannot find words, please share your living
heartbeat.  For we are all the visible image of the invisible,
Loving Life that “raises us up to more than we can be.”1

1 from the song “You Raise Me Up” by Rolf Løvland and Brendan Graham.

(Your comments will be included in the Ebook Keepsake you will receive after the 12 days are done.) 😜 “wink”

 

links to previous pages
(in case you missed it). . .

DAY 1 – Magenta: Waiting in Darkness
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-1/

DAY 2 – JFP: Living after Heart surgery and 5 strokes
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-2/

DAY 3 – JANE: Visiting Family – Layers of Love and Grief
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-3/

DAY 4 – JFS: Loss of Someone to Care For
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-4/

DAY 5 – SANDY: Allowing my Beloved Partner’s Memory to Live on
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-5/

 

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Di’s Xmas in July 2016: Day 5

XmasinJulyTestintro by Di…

Sandy,  your beautiful words touch my heart deeply, because I, too,
lost my partner to cancer. I can imagine that whoever has the
unbearable grief of such significant loss would feel that pain is all life
could ever hold.

You courageously take us with you on the path of seeing, experiencing and accepting sorrow.

Yet, in the hardest work of your life, you are modeling for us David Harkin’s principle: “cherish her memory and let it live on.”

It’s a real honour to present your message, enriched with your “ways that helped”. . .   ways that gift us with new possibility.

It has been fifteen months…

“I was getting ready to retire and work with Marion, my partner of 20 years when we discovered she had cancer in January of 2015. Sadly, she died shortly after in April.

In the beginning, I was shocked by so many things and I was surrounded by so many people. When things settled down I went back to work, and I would go home and watch TV. I have never watched so much TV In my life. I feel like I could curl up in a ball and disappear.

I have felt every emotion and sense you can think of:  sadness, loneliness, extreme fatigue, confusion, lost, isolated, and many more. My memory and concentration are not what they used to be. I feel I have lost my identity and no longer know who I really am.

I have gained 30 pounds since she died. I do not know who I am anymore and a huge part of my life has gone. I thought I was depressed but I am not. I am grieving, as I have found many of the symptoms are the same.

I decided to see a therapist but she does not understand grief.   She is helpful but we do not talk about grief. She has encouraged me to meditate again and we talk about what I am going to do when I retire.

It is now fifteen months and many people expect me to feel better. I do feel better, but I am still grieving. I do not know which circumstances, surroundings, or thoughts will bring on the sadness or other emotions. They seem to appear out of nowhere.

It does not hurt as much as it did in the beginning, but it is still raw.

I miss Marion terribly. I miss her love, snuggling in bed, her sense of humour and having someone at home when I get home from work. I miss her big heart and so many little things.

I still do not sleep through the night, and some days I am exhausted from not sleeping well.

Marion was 61 and just getting started on the next step of her journey. Now I keep wondering, “Why?”   Why as a naturopath did she choose to receive chemo?   I know that it was her choice but that is my intellect, and not my heart.

Could I have done something different?

When Marion was in the hospital we read, ‘The Four Things That Matter Most’ by Dr. Ira Byock and this book really helped.

“Please forgive me,” “I forgive you,” “Thank you,” and “I love you.”

It was only later that Marion’s friend Cherie introduced me to the Ho’oponopono:

Ho'opnopono2I say the Ho’oponopono often.

What helps?

One of the things that helped was, “She is gone.” I read it every day for the first 6 months:

She is Gone!http://www.wordfocus.com/gone-david-harkin.html

I drive Marion’s Jeep, not because it is a good car, as mine sits in the driveway, but because it was hers. I wear her clothes and feel surrounded by her love.

My family has been there for me in the most supporting of ways. My brother and his wife call me frequently and visit often (they live 2 hours away).

Your GriefHandItOverOur friend who lives overseas emails me on the 13th of every month. The 13th being the anniversary of Marion’s death. Friends who have called have had me over for coffee or dinner or we go out.   People have been willing to speak and reflect about Marion and how she affected and still affects their life.

One of the best pieces of advice I received was if someone invites you to go out, go!  I can do that but large groups are still difficult, I am not sure why.

Surprisingly it helps to listen to the song “Alleluia”1 which two of her friends played at the funeral.
(family joining in on  Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” from the heart.)

It is amazing whenever I am feeling down, someone posts something on Facebook that helps. One of the best sayings that I repeat to myself for encouragement, is:

I am OK…I am not OK…and that is OK from
instagram.com/mitchells_journey

I am still connected to Marion. On the day she died there was a bit of ice on my friend’s windshield and the sun hit it and it sparkled. Almost weekly sparkles appear. On the first anniversary of her death a green (her favourite colour) heart shape appeared at the foot of my bed. On the day she died a friend saw two mourning birds…one in the light and one in the dark on her deck, and she still sees the birds. Many friends have told me similar stories. I love seeing 11:11 and Marion would point it out to me if she saw it before me. I would see it about once a month and now I see it at least weekly. I smile and say ‘Hi Marion!’   Every night I speak to her and thank her for everything she has given me and tell her I love her.

musings…

.

wrapping up by Di…

Marion Elliot heard the “broken Alleluias” of all humanity. I was honoured to speak on her summit for Third Age Women, and I felt sad she had to die just when she was expanding her reach.

Now it looks like she is making her sparkling presence known as a Glorious Alleluia, with Infinite knowing and power to answer the cry of people and planet.

Many were “in her hands” in this world, but yours, Sandy, were the hands that held her.

She chose to give YOU her most intimate and precious gifts . . . her endless love, and her own Broken Alleluia!  You are the one she trusted with her deepest secrets. I can’t help but believe she will forever hold and help you now, in all ways, always.

invitation to chime in…

What rings a bell with you in this courageous and generous gift of expression from Sandy?  How do you feel enriched by her offering? I’m sure this was not easy to put together.


Please let us know your thoughts in the comment area below.

(Your comments will be included in the Ebook Keepsake you will receive after the 12 days are done.) 😜 “wink”

 

links to previous Days
(in case you missed it)

DAY 1 – Magenta: Waiting in Darkness
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-1/

DAY 2 – JFP: Living after Heart surgery and 5 strokes
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-2/

DAY 3 – JANE: Visiting Family – Layers of Love and Grief
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-3/

DAY 4 – JFS: Loss of Someone to Care For
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-4/

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Di’s Xmas in July 2016: Day 3

XmasinJulyTest

intro by Di…

Jane loves her family and really, really misses them. Yet she experienced
two kinds of grief in a recent visit to her relatives and the place of her
growing up:

Grief while with them.
Grief having to leave them.

It’s common for family members to spend their lives miles apart, so many
might dismiss this kind of grief, and just “stuff it,” ignoring the pain,
pushing it aside as not serious enough to give it any attention. “Just grow up and get on with your life.”

I acknowledge Jane for her courage and trust, to risk putting her grief out in the open, laying it on the table where it can be seen and heard, so it won’t  leak out like slow poison until it festers like a wound that won’t heal, causing an incurable rift.

Let this community be the “family” that sees and hears Jane without judgment, modeling the way to set ourselves free to walk within a healthy aura, so that people, animals and planet experience our harmony, not our discord.

As you read Jane’s message, will you become aware of “little griefs” you have stuffed?

Visiting Family – Layers of Love and Grief

“For 4 years, I had been enduring the heartache of not being able to see my siblings, cousins, nor the state of my birth. All of my elders, except for my Aunte M. had crossed. Most of my ‘relations’ made their transition; under, what seemed typical to me.

Through a lifetime of observations, I witnessed a blanket of fear, confusion, and incredible physical pain in those who were dying.

In gratitude, now, to all that is, and with the help of the dearest friends, I was able to fly home. I took and spent the weeks visiting each of my siblings, and to connect with my first and second cousins, who are now caretaking and preparing for their mother’s/grandmother’s passing (my last remaining Aunt).

I had chosen this time, while my Aunte M. was alert, and consciously aware of my visits and my time with her.

In going back to the Midwest, and walking through the towns and places that I had spent years experiencing with my Mom and then my stepdad, this created such utter longing and heartfelt body ache; for the times before grief and the death of the ones closest to my be-ing.

Thanks to the cousin I stayed with for most of those 3 weeks in Illinois/Indiana, I re-visited an earlier time of joys, depression, and a time of physically dying myself. It felt, in this month of June, like I was walking in parallel universes of past and present grief.

The re-visiting of these places seemed to hold an energy of memories. The time in these places also pointed to the gaps and/or emptiness in my current life.

Knowing it was not likely that I’d live or spend time there – ever again – presented daily opportunities for a forced or self-resisting goodbye(s). I back-pedaled at every present experience, to imagine ways to live there again. I wanted to feel surrounded by family and the familiar! I felt connected and dis-connected to persons, places and things at the same time, in this now moment.

As always, the gifts, with the pain, presented moments to recognize the old dysfunctional programs and self-patterns with each of my siblings. Patterns continue in the present, that bring up my issues of not being seen or heard.

I fell back into knee-jerk self doubt, loss, and fears. As I grieved, I struggled to assert and self-advocate. I questioned, unsure of what is, and still attempted and perhaps, stood in my authenticity and truth.

Amazingly, and maybe even ridiculously, I danced the emotional range from: screaming, crying, longing, frustration and anger.

My intention to spend time assisting with the care of my Aunte M., as well as quantitative and quality moments with her, did happen, as they/it was meant to. At times, the front room where she ate, slept, toileted and watched endless amounts of TV game shows was the hub of family gatherings. My Aunte seemed more energized when the room was filled with those she loved. All the while, I was preparing myself for the upcoming physical goodbye.

I felt trapped by the details that indicated I had to leave – again not knowing when or how I would return to be with family again. So much grief covered with sideways feelings of anger and resentment towards my present realities and the financial and linear time restraints.

I kissed my Aunte’s dry-skinned cheek while attempting to hug a body that had become skin and bones. I told her that I loved her with all of my heart! I also felt drawn to tell her, urgently, that my Mom, her sister, her brother and other sister, as well as her husband, were always with her and were right now, all around her (all whom had already made their transitions). Aunte M. made a rare, soulful, direct eye contact with me and she began to cry. This was also rare. I told her to not be afraid and that she was surrounded by LOVE. She said then, as she always does, “we are not much of a big family, but we are all we’ve got!” I responded with tears of my own, saying: “and we’re damn good, Aunte M!” “ I’ll stay in touch and I love you,” were my exiting words

At the closing of this ‘share’ my Aunte, with COPD, emphasema, congestive heart failure, and on oxygen 24/7 is still in the physical. I call her each day – occasionally able to speak with her. She is a fighter, as my Mom was, and we all are!”

………………………………………………………..~Jane Borowski.

 

musings…

Link to the Lyrics:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/taylordayne/wheneveryoufall.ht
These lyrics are the property and Copyright of the owners:
– Copyright © 2000-2016 AZLyrics.com

wrapping up by Di …

Taylor Dane sings our question: “How many times must I fall to feel alive in this life?”

If we are the “ground” for each other, might the screaming of the whole world stop? Maybe all the tantrum is unprocessed grief leaking out!

Let our loving community on this website “be the ground on which you fall, Jane.  You’ll be safe inside.”

 

invitation to chime in…

Is anyone the “ground” on which you can fall?  Will you dare greatly to share with this online “family”? Are you feeling a sense of connection, witnessing the hearts of your fellow travelers?

Please let us know your thoughts in the comment area below.

(Your comments will be included in the Ebook Keepsake you will receive after the 12 days are done.) 😜 “wink”

links to previous posts
(in case you missed it)

DAY 1 – Magenta: Waiting in Darkness
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-1/

DAY 2 – JFP: Living after Heart surgery and 5 strokes
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-2/

 

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Di’s Xmas in July 2016: Day 2

XmasinJulyTest intro by Di…

For JFP, Life came to a screeching halt,
right in the middle of Sunday Church Service.

Singing in the choir suddenly turned into a surreal nightmare
of going down,unable to tell anyone what was happening.
That was in August.

He had his 3rd stroke.

On the day after Thanksgiving, he had a massive stroke.

.This one paralyzed his entire left side.
Stroke #5.

 

What’s life like in the years after the initial emergency? The big things, you get quite a lot back.  But life, as he once knew it, can never be the same again. The “new normal” can seem like mission impossible.

There are little things you deal with that no one knows. You wake up during the night working them out. It goes something like this:

 

JFP’s Morning Meanderings…

  • “The house is quiet, its early, yet late [as in life].  Don`t feel like sleeping; mind is rumbling; body frustrated [old is not in this decision of my likes right now].
  • Woke up making plans for Monday. It`s the 52nd of wedded —- no label for the day. So far we have a confirmed doctor’s visit, another one on the next day,  plus a follow up call later in the week.  That is why I am frustrated  about Monday
  • Right now I plan on ordering a corsage for my wife to wear Monday. I have to go to town this morning to see if it is doable.  Then church this afternoon. Yet what do I feel? It is a mix of emotions about feelings and physical feelings. True it is a problem that I am not the man I was. Physical:  the heart attack  and the strokes have taken their toll on the body.
  • On the good side I did get the eyes fixed. That is one good thing if I ever get used to the sight issues of now. OK, I see better, yet am frustrated that  there are spots that I did not think about:
    I see  fine, even better with no blurring.  Yet  the screen  has to be moved  in order to see  right  on the computer.
    I see,  yet I thought there would be more flexibility to my sight. So it is a necessary thing to be able to see better, which I do. Yet I feel I should have more focus flex to my sight.
  • OK I can live with it  as I do see better, just not like I thought it would  be. And that is the issue. It was explained to me before I did the operation. So it is on me about that, and that is done, I did  it. Now to learn to live with it.
  • Not that bad. I see better, just the having to take off the glasses to read  at some distance or not.  I can’t squint to see better.  I have to put the object in the right distance to read it, not the other way around. More learning curve, yet good  when I do  it.
  • I see clearly  case closed. I need to adjust!
  • The rest  is feeling more useless: the old body does not work like it should. Loss of endurance is the biggest issue, I think. Stuff I did when younger  I can still do, only what took an hour now takes days even weeks, leaving one to want to forget about doing it.
  • Also, being the main caregiver is frustrating.
  • My wife has a lot of issues, plus does not see that she could change her way of doing things. Therefore, we have problems. She talks softer than the noise around her, expecting me to hear, even if I am not in the same part of the house. Then it is my fault because she told me.
  • [If a man is outside with ear protection on and she whispers some thing for him to do, is it his fault he did not hear?] It is like that.
  • I spend too much time in the man cave. Yes , I know I do. NO answer. Maybe I am hiding, hiding from what, I don’t  know. It does make my life less ??????
  • I like that I can watch what I want, listen to my music, read my stories, not get bugged because I just ate a peanut or something. And if I repeat a joke I just saw, it goes over well. Yet, am I letting her down because when we are together too much it becomes a blaming or cut down time: someone never remembers what they say or how hurtful it can be, so I  hide in the man cave. DO I?
  • Some days I think it is so, others, not. Right now I crave a cup of coffee, yet, if I go in the kitchen I wake the dog.  That will wake her, and this day is off to a bad start. Not worth it, right?  OK, I can live with that fact of life, with others. Maybe I can go back to bed and sleep some more.  I’ll try.
    -JFP, July 2016

musings…

YOU ARE MINE by David Haas: (JFP’s choice)


https://youtu.be/Sgm9lkTNQmc

 

wrapping up by Di…

JFP’s honest disclosure  is a rare sharing of his vulnerability.  I love his subtle ways to “come back up to the sunny side.”  Mowing the church grounds gives him purpose, plus a little extra income. A drive to the grocery is much needed “me-time,” listening to his favorite music on the car radio.

This beautiful song he has chosen, “You Are Mine,” is what helps him in the silence. The sense of connection, of belonging to that Greater Life who “called you by name.” To be watched over and seen and recognized even with a messed-up left side means, to JFP,  “I’m not doing this alone.”

It’s been a long haul for this elderly man and his semi-invalid wife of 52 years.  But, as he says, “I signed up for the whole trip and I intend to get there.”

I’m wondering: Are there many others like this?

invitation to chime in…

How do you resonate with this man’s plight?  What helps you keep on when nothing is getting any better for you? What does it feel like when no one really knows what you have to put up with?  What are the biggest frustrations?
Please let us know your thoughts in the comment area below.

(Your comments will be included in the Ebook Keepsake you will receive after the 12 days are done.)😜 “wink”

link to yesterday’s page
(in case you missed it):

DAY 1 – Magenta: Waiting in Darkness
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-1/

 

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Di’s Xmas in July 2016: Day 1

XmasinJulyTestintro by Di:

I know Magenta well: one of my dearest, deepest friends, a real
soul-sister. She’s daring greatly to speak up today, because her story,
her feelings, her decisions are the kind people love to judge and condemn. But I know her ability to stay in a relationship, valuing each person deeply, loving them with her whole heart, seeing the genuine good even when receiving hurt and not feeling seen, heard or understood herself.

I know she explored every avenue before she
came to see
it’s time to”fold ’em.”

I’m happy to publish her in this platform,
because this is the place you can
boldly be seen and heard without judgement, no matter what.
This is the website filled with the Energy of Unconditional Love,
seeing Creative Wisdom and solutions in each other’s diversity,
not nailing them for their differences.

In history, the most diverse in action and message were often those who heralded much needed change in how we humans treat each other. I see Magenta as the cutting edge of the kind of evolved, universal human we
are only beginning to see.  Enjoy the following reflections from her depths.

 

.“Waiting in the Dark”
by Magenta

“Alone. Lost. Tired all the time. Unable to focus. Uncertain of anything but
a tiny core of light, inside. Unsure where her money might come from, or where her home might be. Feeling her heart cracking wide open. They say ‘broken heart.’ Floundering in a fog, rudderless, knowing only that she must trust, hope, put one foot in front of the other. And stay open to the possibility of utter destruction and complete transformation. ‘Creative chaos’ she is calling it. Suicidal thoughts sometimes (because she longs to go home), but these are dismissed as she faced and conquered that demon long ago. She knows she’d just have to come back and do it all over again, and she couldn’t hurt the kids. Other times she sees a tiny leaf or other small miracle and is transfixed, seeing this through child’s eyes. That feeling of cracking open while the world disappears. Her bones feel bleached white after too much anguish.

‘Love whatever arises.’ says Matt Kahn. (Google his Youtubes, they’re great.) What is left of a shattered life except a core of indestructible love inside. She clings to that core of certain love as to a life raft in a rough open sea. All beliefs, certainties, outer forms, habits, relationships, dependencies, entanglements are now shattered and ghostly. The little child inside is frightened she is dying. She holds her close in love – the only thing left in the utter darkness.

I have moved away from
my thirty year stale and loveless relationship.

Once we wore bright clear colours and knew our tasks. They were big. Co-create a beautiful home from mud, a garden on three acres, a happy thriving family, a new business to support us all, a place in the community.
All these we did gladly and well, with joy and certainty.  It was a grand
vision and a great work. How did it fall apart?

Slowly the door between our hearts shut down. Our bodies turned away.
No matter how hard and misguidedly I knocked, I couldn’t open this door again. I couldn’t find him any more. There was no personal connection. Only work, chat about the world, not ever about us.

Arguments about the same old things. Unable to change the crack in the record. Till it got intolerable.

I ran out of rope. I stopped the perpetual trying to reach him and re-establish love. Saw the pattern at last – me trying to reach others – him, my mother, my father. Them turning away, unable to see me or to open in love. ‘No matter how hard I try and try, they do not see or understand me and love me for who I am.’ The lot of a ‘too sensitive’ empath in a normal family.

So I bow to him and thank him in my heart for repeating this pattern
ad infinitum until at last I see it and know I must overcome it. He took the
role of the one who turns away.

It was a soul contract between us
that is now complete.

I see it as a constant dance – she steps forward, pleading for love, he turns the other way. The modern slogan is ’emotionally unavailable.’ It breaks her heart and she knows she has to gather all her courage to break free of the dynamic and the relationship. She feels some guilt – how could she have listened so poorly and made it unsafe for him to share himself? But she knows she now must turn her love and energy back in toward herself, stop looking to him or anyone else for this love.

Everything shatters. She lets everything go. Her home, her visions, shared work and projects, her old identity. Luckily the kids have all grown up. But even they are bereft as the grand family home no longer functions without the mother there. Father can’t make it work – he has alienated some of the kids with his righteousness and inability to show them his love.

So she moves out and sits in this space of unknowing. Even her twenty year business creation is now up for grabs. She’s exhausted;  can she really run it alone? What else could she do at her age for money? Such a labour of love. Should she let it go ? Or boot him out and re-imagine her creative business with new joy and direction?

It’s not time yet to choose. She sits waiting in the darkness of unknowing. Sometimes she is wracked with self doubt – why can’t I make decisions, I’m such a procrastinator, surely I know what my heart wants?

Only one finger of light remains. She knows beyond doubt that she must choose love. Now it is for herself. Turn that love around girl and learn to give it back to yourself. But what does that mean? She doesn’t know yet how to really love herself after all those years of giving and doing. It’s not self indulgence. She know to cradle and hold and speak lovingly to her inner child, that little one so abandoned long ago. She rocks her, soothes her. What else does “loving yourself” mean? She seeks that thin filament of light she knows connects her heart to heaven and to earth. When all is lost she clings to this and asks to be taken and transformed, risen and baked, so she can find bigger bigger love again. So she can express the love-bearer’s path in the biggest possible way, so her soul can soar again and be helpful to the World. For she knows she is a soul, not a body or mind or even heart. A divine soul, like all of us. Just stepped down and forgetful.

Just wait, in the darkness and fog, she knows. Trust it is coming, that sudden expansion of glorious, joyful creativity, that lifting of the spirit. They call it Ascension. Cling to that core of love and filament of light that connects her to Earth and All that is. Trust, trust. She sings quietly to herself – ‘All will be well all will be well.’  And she loves whatever arises.”

………………………………………………………..~ Magenta  4 July 2016

musings…

ALL IS WELL with Lyrics FROM JULIAN of NORWICH

             by MEG BARNHOUSE – https://youtu.be/_Kadbd3tCqc

wrapping up by Di…

When I was 3 years old, during the trauma of early abuse, I would hide
in the apple orchard for hours, saying one phrase:
“God is my real father and mother.”
I never heard that from anyone before or after.

Until…at age 14, I entered the convent and was given a Book of Saints
to read.  When I turned the page to St. Julian of Norwich, a medieval, sought-after theologian, I was just stunned to read that she taught:
“God is our Mother and Father!”  My words!  A coincidence?

Julian taught what Jesus taught her:  that we each come from Divinity,
and we are that. We are not human-only orphans, lost and weak.

Thus… “All shall be well, all manner of things shall be well.”
A deep trust, knowing who we are, from our Mother and Father God.
So we can be loving humans.
…………………………………………………~ Julian of Norwich

 

invitation to chime in…

Magenta’s Life-Storm is truly a Tsunami. Could this be her pivotal point, moving her from the old paradigm of lovers acting like “others,” calling her to surrender into new Love as the Sacred Oneness we are, as offspring of our One Mother and Father. Why else would she choose such a perfect song, using the version based on Julian’s words?

What keeps you going on?  Do you feel broken open to a Higher way of being? Grief has been known to “tear down and build up” a new, better way of living Life more fully.

Please let us know your thoughts in the comment area below.

(Your comments will be included in the Ebook Keepsake you will receive after the 12 days are done.) 😜 “wink”

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Di’s Xmas in July 2016: Day 4

XmasinJulyTestintro by Di…

I met a young farm boy (JFS)  now grown into an 81 year old man of deep, earth-wisdom. After 33 years of marriage to the love of his life, 10 of which were caregiving for her in her struggle with ever more devastating illness, his path crossed mine in his quest for healing from the deep pain of losing her.

Only the Lonely widower can understand how quickly and innocently one can take a wrong turn… one that has devastating results. As if just missing your deceased wife isn’t enough to bear. Men and women both, here’s his story: This could be you…

the loss of someone to care for…

“My soulmate transcended life leaving me without a navigator, quality control or companionship. I was lost, adrift in a sea of grief.

I literally ran for cover at a local church, where God and the choir accepted me with open arms. I had found new friends and a brighter outlook on my life.

One Sunday, with service nearing the end and with one more song to sing, I looked around the group that I can call family, observing them smiling as our eyes met, until I met dark eyes and no smile.

What I saw crushed my being, there was nothing to exhale.

I saw a lonely, pleading face with eyes that, to me, said:
“Please Help Meeeee.”

When the service ended,  I went to talk with her and, upon peering into those dark eyes, was instantly communicating on a level seldom ever achieved.

We both became emotional and with tears aglow, we embraced heartedly and exchanged short stories, then went to a local and had coffee and openly shared our grief.

It was late, so we had to part company, knowing full well we could continue sharing soon.

We shared time often and had a ball. She was the “wind beneath my wings,” buoying me out of my grief so high that I made the mistake of falling in love. Wow! Such an intense feeling!

It came time for this little “Snow Bird” to fly north, so with the parting words, “I’ll miss you,” I added: “I’ll keep you in my heart, till I can hold you in my arms.”   My little snowbird departed.

BeachFootprints

Departed.

O lonesome me.

Days, weeks passed, deep friendships helped in my despair, leveling my thought, letting them gel, allowing me to see end process.

I saw red flags that I had deliberately ignored, unfurling before my now open eyes.

Not only can I see, but I can categorize each one and extract the reason behind it being there.

Hallelujah, I see, I hear, and I know that this person that I feel so deeply about was but a cover I unwittingly fashioned for my caregiving grief,  and that my feelings would not be reciprocated.

These feelings I had, and to some degree still have, are the sole product of my grief, loneliness and the loss of someone to care for.

That is my story and I’m embarking upon a life comforted by my soulmate telling me: “I’m always with you every step of the way, making footprints in the sand.”

If God were separate,  there would be 3 of us making footprints in the sand.”
                                                                                              ~ JFS

musings…

https://youtu.be/__8vm8ORMZt4

wrapping up by Di…

JFS told me about an experience he had at age 5. Wandering in the woods by his farm in upstate New York, he suddenly looked up and saw the amazing Aurora Borealis filling the sky and he just fell backwards and laid on his little back in the snow, mesmerized with the kaleidescope of moving colors above his whole world.  He told me through tears, “I was that!  I wasn’t even here. I was up there!”  76 years later, he still has that feeling, of “lightness”… of weightlessness.  He says: “There was nothing to me… I was there!  I was that!  I can still get that feeling.”

A short time ago,  when his tears came, he was allowing them to flow, without resistance, and suddenly, he became that “Aurora” again, and this time, his soulmate was “there” with him!  He knew it!  “She’s with me!”

Interesting that he had never told her about his 5-year-old Aurora night. He said this time, he allowed her to share the experience that had been his alone. And after that,  “everything has changed!”

The next day, he told me: “When I got home, I talked with my departed Love, and, by damn, if her eyes didn’t follow me from her photo as I paced from one side of the room to the other!  And I realized that now, she and God are the same Being… so she CAN be with me!”

How can there be any doubt that her eyes were following him across the room?

invitation to chime in…

Can you relate?  Have you had any signs?  That you know are real?  This widower says: “I can’t be the only one chosen to have these kinds of signs!”
Please let us know your thoughts in the comment area below.

(Your comments will be included in the Ebook Keepsake you will receive after the 12 days are done.) 😜 “wink”

 

links to previous Days
(in case you missed it)

DAY 1 – Magenta: Waiting in Darkness
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-1/

DAY 2 – JFP: Living after Heart surgery and 5 strokes
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-2/

DAY 3 – JANE: Visiting Family – Layers of Love and Grief
http://bloominganewyou.com/dis-xmas-in-july-2016-day-3/

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MEMORIAL DAY-In Memory of You!

MAY 30, 2016

My heart soars into the Vast Ground of Being,
into the Wellbeing of our Unconditioned ConsciousnesO Light! You call me to a certain Heights,
the Whole-i-ness of our Shared Life,
Which is Unconditional Love!

Would that we each and all can know and say: 
“All that You Are, Beloved Love, is who I am.
 And so nothing is impossible. 
I am more powerful and capable than meets the human eye!
I step into my Magnificence on this Day of Remembering…

All the Unsung Heroes….
All who have fallen in Service to the Good of All.

Who might you be?

How have you laid down your life for a friend? 
There is no greater Love.

Have you made a mistake by loving someone?
It is better to Err on the side of Love than Hate… or Suspicion… or Judgement… or Blame… or Feeling too hurt to forgive…
For You Are Love Personified….
A Divine Presence in human form…
And you have Eternal Eyes, Ears, Hands and Feet that leave the Imprint of 
Unconditional Love that lingers as a fragrance that permeates 
hardened minds and walled in hearts.

How many people do you know who are like scared animals,
on high alert… watching for the next blow?

Are you that?

Become the MistIn the Flowing Mist of Universe, I hear you, my fellow traveler!
I see you and my heart holds you. 
Hang on!  Be steadfast.
Angels and Archangels surround you, love you, and protect you.
Your Creator, Who is Bigger than All, 
is your Source, your Origin, from Whom you came into form,
and You Are that Universal, All Knowing, Unconditional Loving Spirit in person.

That is who is living your life right now.
That is Who is living your troubled waters right now, and 
Who knows how to navigate them and bring you to safe Haven.

Hang your hat of trial on the hook within your heart… 
for that is where your real Home is. 
Then your Heart will not feel Homeless.

 From that Glowing Hearth, all you need is coming into being….
For all you need is the Wholeness of Your Being…
Which is no less than That which is the Beingness of All.

In Memory of You… Co-Creators who are laying your life down 
for the creation of a newly evolving Global Culture of Unity, Love, Peace, Cooperation  and finding ways that work for all without any resulting inequities!

 

Peace within!  Kitten on back

May you know your own Joy of Being today! 

Di Lemon

Day After Valentine’s

I wake to a new day that feels like a new era of my life… of the lives of 3 fellow travelers who joined me yesterday for a get-together at my home. The plan was to grill out a variety of veggies, and if someone wanted meat, it was “bring your own meat and grill it yourself.” Instead of meat, seafood was brought and not only grilled, but one prepared teriyaki prawns and broiled lobster tail with chef expertise, and another grilled a decent pile of shrimp. Along with a table laden with enough fresh, organic veggies, we happily ate our way through a day that would otherwise have seen us each “alone, again, naturally.”

We started something. Or I should say, Eternal Love-Energy created something we never expected and will never forget! A simple, elegant ceremony that cleared and cleansed us, and opened us into a day of deep, loving, trusting, healing sharing…. this ceremony just leapt, without warning, out of “Something Bigger but not Other” as a wonderful way for us to begin our “picnic.”  We feel this may become an annual event for us, and others who spend Valentine’s Day alone with grief. I’m so excited to gift you with what we shared in the “We’re an US” link below.

Before we took turns reading the paragraphs, seated outside in a circle, one member, Jane,  happened to bring some sage and with her exquisite Native-American wisdom, opened our little ritual with cleansing and clearing our space and each of us in such a moving way that released held-in tears and opened our very souls to the Light we truly needed. We realized something: “We’re an ‘US.’”

Jane stepped so naturally and authentically into her shamanic role that we were overwhelmed with overflowing gratitude and peace in a “sacred communion” that brought our picnic to a whole new, unexpected level…. a new step on our healing path we each were longing to take but couldn’t do alone. She enhanced the ceremony by leading us in an antiphonal “I am Circle” chant at beginning, middle and end of the ceremony, that connected us into a Oneness we know will protect us from ever feeling alone again!

Can you picture yourself in such an impromptu group doing something like this?

Check out the words in the pdf below, and feel free to print it out for your own use, editing it any way you find helpful. Maybe you felt the Universal Reach of Healing Love!

Click the Heart to step into the Ceremony

Your GriefHandItOver

I sincerely hope you will feel like returning to this garden again and again to see your own new shoots blooming a new You!

Did I tell you I appreciate you today?
With love from my heart,

Di

PS.  If you’d like to work on something that’s got you stuck, let’s talk about what we might accomplish together.   Chat with Di